Nourishing the mind, body, and soul along the vegan highway.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Stuck in a toxic wasteland.

Hi Folks, Sorry for the absence. I want to say that my life of sadness, pain, frustration, and inability to survive has caused my absence and stranded me in a toxic wasteland, but then that would be passing the buck and not standing up to my own stupidity, laziness, and lack of self control. Some of you know and some of you don't know that I have been trying to beat this every trying issue of obesity, which can be a very difficult struggle. Yes, I had been trying hard, but just fell off the wagon. My DH is so encouraging and supportive of my vegan lifestyle and healthy eating. He always tries in a very loving way to help me keep exercising and stay on track. He was so excited for me to take this new class at the college, which I did. Only one week left. I met some really good friends. One of my friends, Jasmine, has struggled with the same issue and has done a fantastic job of making it. Check out her blog if you need to see a real hero! She is such an uplifting person and always encouraging me to keep on going, just one day at a time. Her smile is so contagious. Needless to say, maybe if I am accountable to the world one of two things are going to happen. One, I will succeed, be proud of myself, be a healthier wife, mother, and daughter of God or two I will make a complete fool of myself, embarrass myself, and feel totally useless in life. Ok, put your mind at ease, because number one is my goal.

Lately my dinners have consisted of PB&J toast, chips, and ore's. Yes, they are vegan. Not at all in anyway shape or form healthy, but edible. Or good old fried tofu, fried vegan egg rolls, and rice, thus the toxic wasteland! I have cried all I want to cry, done beating myself up, and poor DH is really tired of my complaining and watching me self destruct. I want to be a good example to him too and don't want to fail at that. I am grateful for the 82lbs I have lost, but that feels like only the tip of the iceberg. I still have between 85 and 95 to go. So now that I have spilled my guts to the world let me leave you with a picture of my morning green smoothie. This is 2 cups raw spinach, 1/2 a frozen banana, fresh blackberries, and a bit of stevia blended all together in my magic bullet. Note to self, when using blackberries you will need to strain your smoothie or you will drink what feels like little rocks. lol... I hope I can really post my daily meals and be accountable to myself and not make a complete fool of myself.
I really want to succeed! Thanks Yogi for your love and putting up with my bad times. BJ and M I appreciate all your support too. Thanks for letting me spill my guts to you and know that I love each and everyone of you for your support and visiting me on my blog.


Jasmine @ Eat Move Write said...

Ok, first, that shake is BEAUTIFUL! That color is like a work of art!!! Second, thanks for your sweet comments. I have alot of hard times too on this journey to battle the bulge. The good thing to know is it isn't about losing or winning, but just to keep going. Try, try again. That's the only way. :) See you Tuesday!

The Voracious Vegan said...

Please don't talk about yourself like that! Being healthy is all about loving yourself and honoring yourself, not beating yourself up!

So you have been going through a rough patch, so what? That happens to everyone, in some way or another. It is just something to shrug off. Take a deep breath, tell yourself that you deserve better and start making choices that make you feel good.

I'm so sorry you are feeling down, I really hope that you start feeling better soon.

You are an inspiration to so many people, please remember how important and special you are. You are more than one aspect of your life, you are amazing!

East Village Vegan said...

You sound like a strong minded woman! You have my support:)

julie hasson said...

Sheree I am so sorry to hear about your father-in-law. I know how hard it is to loose someone so close to you.

Please don't be so hard on yourself with the eating. You need to remember how special you are. Just like Voracious Vegan said, you are an inspiration to so many people.

Remember to take one moment at a time. You can totally do this!

Hugs Sheree!

XO Julie

aTxVegn said...

Sheree, I am totally pulling for you and am here for you. I'll be your cheerleader or whatever you need! You have such an amazing spirit and lots of caring friends and family to help you.